Onthebus Confession
by sliverMe
Summary: "Do you really want to know?"- Natsume. I nodded but when the next statement is "It's about us" Do you still want to continue? even though it can change your life? R&R
1. Confession

Disclaimer: I don't own GA :)

A/n: Hello guys! This is my first fanfic. Hope you like it :)

Summary:

"Do you really want to know?"- Natsume. I nodded but when the next statement is "It's about us" Do you still want to continue? Even though it can change your life? A true to life story for May Madness :) R&R :)))

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><p>People surrounding our daily lives thought we were meant to be<p>

and I thought so too but...

Why things didn't work out the way it must turn out to be?

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><p>Laughter is the best medicine, ne?<p>

But why did my laughter don't heal me from my broken heart?

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><p>When the day that i will write my story come, I will definitely remove this cellphone strap you gave me and will move on with my life. The strap that you handed the very day you broke my heart.<p>

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><p>"So... what are you guys talking about these past few days? Uhmm... with Hotaru, I mean?" I asked him out of the blue to start a conversation with him while smiling sheepishly at him. This had pique my attention days ago so better start with that right? We were at the bus right now patiently waiting for it to fill in passengers; anyway it was half way full now.<p>

Natsume stopped at what he was doing then looked at me straight in the eyes while contemplating whether to answer my question or to ignore it. In the end, he chose the former and countered me with, "Do you really want to know?"

_Whoa. Gazing at me like that, he's really serious. If i remembered correctly, he can't stand staring at girls intently. _Amazed by that fact and not bothering how it would change my life, I just nodded then looked away and faced the windows instead. I, too, couldn't stand being watched like that but I was quite excited to know what they were discussing.

"It's about us," he continued and at the same time, the bus started to run.

I snapped my head towards him all too fast upon hearing those words then replied, "Ohh." _Way to go Mikan, you just said ohh. That was so lame. _Who can i blame? I didn't know how to respond to that and I somewhat felt something was going to happen. Something I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was.

"Do you still want to know?" he questioned again. I responded yes. Who wouldn't want to? "Hotaru was asking me if i love you..." I just stared at him not wanting to interrupt him. He paused a bit then, "I love you... as a friend," he sincerely said while searching for my eyes.

It was then that i felt like my world stopped. Excitement was washed away. I froze at those words. I was lost with words. I didn't know how to feel nor to react. Why didn't my heart flinch? Flinch with pain, maybe? Nope, no nothing. Not knowing what to reply, I just smile not tearing my gazed at him and said silently, "ohh."

After I said that, he looked down, closed his eyes, then he mumbled softly, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry for falling in love with someone else... Sorry." I was taken aback at that though I was still looking at him, devoid of any emotions. Okaayy, maybe my heart skipped a beat. I didn't know. Sorry, sorry for what? Then a buried memory came hitting me.

. - .

_I was surfing the net when someone texted me. I smiled when I saw to who it was. _Natsume_. I checked it_

_._

Can you translate this? \-/+|| |\-/|-|\-/|/\|

_Since it was like composed of different lines and whatsoever, I only take it half-heartedly and replied,_

Huh? What's that? I can't understand it. hahahaha :) But don't worry I'll decode that and reveal the message :)

_Days passed, I was still looking at it and an idea came up. I flipped my cellphone upside down then read his text .I blushed. _So that was it is huh. _I quickly pressed the reply button then texted him,_

Natsume! I decoded it already :) :D

_Minutes passed, I waited for his reply until my cellphone vibrated. I grabbed it hastily and nervously peeked at the sender. _Natsume!

Really? Then what it is?

_With smile on my already red face, I stifled a lough and responded with,_

I love you :)

_Then, he texted back with,_

I love you too.

_but that text was immediately followed by,_

That will be the answer of the receiver if someone sends him that

_By that time, my blood was erratically pumped on my face and I felt like fainting, but i managed to reply,_

Don't worry, I know that she loves you too :)))

. - .

Reminiscing to that memory, I just looked at him while his head was tilted back and he faced me again. I scanned his face then my brown eyes landed on his crimson eyes. On his teary crimson orbs. At that time, I knew what was the right thing to do, I need to do. I smiled whole-heartedly and somewhat laughed to lighten the mood then the words "its okay, Natsume. Don't say sorry for loving someone. It was never your fault," escaped my mouth freely.

It was then he leant his head on the back of the seat in front of us, closed his eyes again, and gritted his pearly white teeth trying to hold back the tears. I never uttered a word to him, just watched him solemnly as I slowly put my hand to his right shoulder to comfort him.

. - .

"It's sf, right?" I said. A smile plastered on my face. Well, that was the only thing I could do. Offer him my smile- my smile ready to anyone. If you're wondering who sf is, she's the girl Natsume was with before meeting up with me. Actually, he introduced me to her. Her name was Anna but they were calling each other sf. As in special friends. "And... this is the one you wanted to talk about, right?" I quickly continued.

"Yeah... How did you know?"

"Well, I kinda knew that it will lead to this, I guess ... and i felt it, Natsume. I felt that something was going on between the two of you so..." I finished rather awkwardly.

He nodded, understanding what I was trying to tell. "But, you know, I had loved you too... Before I realized that I had fallen for her, there were you." _Natsume, I knew that. Thank you. _I voiced to myself. He then narrated their story of how love bloom between them, how he fell in love with her and so on. He also added that right now sf was quite jealous. Hearing those words coming from him made me really think that he truly loves her. In the end, I said sorry to him and to her.

"Why? Why are saying sorry? And Mikan, please don't say such things," he retorted.

_Why am i saying sorry to them? Because I made her jealous? Perhaps, because I was the one who made things harder for them? Maybe that's it? _"Okaayy.." I affirmed but not really mean it.

"By the way, before I forgot. Here, I promised you this, right?" He remarked while shuffling to his bag to get his promised shirt. A college shirt, actually, since we are studying in the same university but different college. We're both sophomore and we had a long history together. He gave it to me and I thanked him. "And... I want to give you this." He handed an egg-like plastic case. Inside it was a cellphone strap. I glanced at her then at the gift.

Confused, I asked him "What for?"

"Nothing in particular." He opened it, revealing Chopper in One piece. I didn't know him so he explained to me who it was. And guess what? He's a doctor.

"You didn't need to do that," and I laughed at that. _With time Natsume, I knew I can be healed. _"But thanks anyway."

. - .

Time sure moved slowly in the bus, it took off at 6pm; it's only past 7 and a lot of things happened already. So, I decided to sleep, anyway, sleep was knocking on my mind. All those happenings took quite a lot in my energy jar if you also add my pe today. And while I was trying to sleep, Natsume tapped my shoulder and suggested to lean on him. I declined at first. But considering the fact that the ride was uncomfortable, I then agreed. A flashback lulled me to sleep.

. - .

Hope we can still go home together.

_He texted me. I squealed as I read his text and happily replied to him,_

Sure. Just text me :)

_Unlike him whose schedule was so fully loaded, mine was lighter so I often go home on our province every weekend. So I was pretty much sure I will agree when he would ask if we can go home together. We exchanged some more texts when he replied with me,_

You're cute when you're sleeping, getting uncomfortable and all. It's cute

_My jaw literally dropped when I read it. I swore my face was like a tomato right now. Getting flushed and all. It was like o.0 that I was unable to text him witty comeback that I just texted him,_

hahahaha :D :)

_Nice one Mikan! What a great talker you are._

. - .

At last! We arrived at our hometown, few minutes after 11pm. No words were exchange back then. Just a comfortable silence enveloped us. Being a gentleman as he was, Natsume accompanied me back home. On our way home, for the last time, I thanked him and said sorry to him. I gave him a present and mentioned it was for Anna finishing it with a good bye. This time that word good bye, I meant it. I would out of his life for good. That solitary night when I was at my room, asking to myself _why did it end this way? What did I do wrong? What was I lacking?_ I saw my bag and decided to check the shirt that was still enclosed with a paper. I peeled it off then saw letters written on the paper:

Let us be friends **FOREVER **please. Thank you.

I hope you will never forget that I will be your friend forever.

My dear friend

Mikan...

That very night I realized how sweet of a man he was, how great he was, how lucky sf was for having Natsume, and how sf deserved him not me. A heartless jerk that faked a smile in front of the man he loved the most. That cold night, I cried myself out while clutching to the strap that you silently wished to save me from this ordeal. _I may had said that it was okay back then but right now, all I can say is that it hurts. A lot._

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><p><em>Is someone playing a trick on me? How come the day I realized he's a great man was also the day that i lost him?<em>

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><p>. END .<p>

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><p>An: and... That's how my love life ended! My first actually lol :))) . Ever wondered what this is

\-/+|| |\-/|-|\-/|/\| ?

It's actually mahal kita if you read it upside down. A Tagalog word for I love you :)) That's all i hope you really like it :)) and please do leave a review :))

Love lots,

Allyna-chan .

May 12, 2011 2:07am


	2. Still

A/N: To lighten up the mood, I made this very short fic.. Hope you like it and leave a review? It's very much appreciated. Criticize me (oopps.. I mean my writing ) or whatever? Happy reading everyone! Love you all!

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><p>Dear Natsume,<p>

Months passed. To be exact it was 5 months, 4 days, and roughly 3 hours. (I'm not joking! It really is! I'm not assuming figures here hahaha.. ) You know what? I missed you. Still, I remembered you. Okayyy, to be disgustingly honest, I still loved you ( ya hear that?) but as clear as the water, I horribly knew that you would never come back to me. Who wouldn't? I practically saw you and your girlfriend exchange both your unfailing love every time I opened my account in Facebook! Getting bitter, are we? Nope. Heck no. Really, I don't, promise!

I didn't know what still possessed me for not forgetting about you and moving on with this dull life but my heart still ached for you, Natsume Hyuuga, although I was desperately trying to forget all about you. God knows how hard I was truly trying? I deleted your number (don't get mad, okay?) even though it always failed to be erased completely in the recycle bin of my cellphone. (Didn't it somehow imply something? Like it was fate that I couldn't erase it! Joke! I was just getting ahead of myself. Hahaha… chill it was only a joke ). It even came to the point that I thought of shutting all my connections with you and all that was related to you. (That was how desperate I could get. Just like what I was always saying, with a desperate person comes a more desperate measures. Whaattt? Did you get what I mean there? So yeah, I digressed… haha ) Back to what I was writing, I tried uhm… like unfriending you in fb and all your friends and acquaintances there (okay, I was exaggerating here a bit :P ), literally avoiding the college where you are studying (well, that's easy since my college was before yours :D ), avoiding riding on a bus which would only triggered the 'unwanted' memories, and so many silly things that a slight remembrance of you made me want to grow bitter on that person or thing (ohhh, poor thing. The end receiver of my wickedness hahahaha *inserts more evil laugh). But on the second thought, maybe, I was just being harsh on myself and on you and in the process I would only be hurting myself. Also, I was just making things harder, right? Right? So in the end, all of them were just thoughts washed away by my guilt.

Ugghh.. Now that I thought about it, I was rationally getting crazy just thinking about you? See? Are you supposed to be rational when you're literally an insane person? Why? Oh, why? I just don't want to remember you. Is that so hard to do? Actually, as painful as it may seem, IT WAS so DAMN HARD! I didn't usually cuss but just thinki…. Ugh okay, breathe Mikan.. Never mind that I wrote that.. teehee

But seriously, Natsume! What have you done to me? (well.. I was not really serious on that) But seriously as in super seriously, from the time that you left me, I felt that something was also ripped out on me. My emotions? My feelings? (Are both of them just the same? Just stating. On with the story ) my heart? Perhaps it was not something that was ripped out on be rather my whole being. You took her away from me (and I would sue you for that! Again that was a joke! Don't take it seriously ) and just disappeared. Since that day, I changed. My lifeless life took a full turn and never to come back again. I was not blaming you for anything (really, I was not) but still… You leaving me crumbled my stable easy going life. I felt that all the things happening to me were just a dream and I would go as far as taking in things as a joke, taking things for granted. But as reality came hitting me, these were all not. I tried to wake myself and to keep myself from drowning any deeper but I still couldn't forget about you, you know? But I just wanted to let you know that I would not give up on moving on because I know that someday there would be a guy who would sweep me off my feet and love me more than what you did. And for that sliver hope, I would not lose hope. And remember? I promised you that when that time came, I would share it to you, right? So just wait for it, ne? Now that I thought about it, you promise me that you would tell me how you managed to make her your girlfriend. You liar! You didn't even tell me a single thing! (Well, I don't want to start a fight here hahaha…) You broke your promise

Well, this is just I ranting so don't mind what I wrote here hahahaha….

PS.

I do hope that time would not come that you could actually read this because that would be sooo embarrassing on my part and yeah it would be so awkward. Hahaha.. I laugh a lot these days, ne?

Sincerely yours,

Mikan Sakura

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><p>AN: By the way guys, I didn't joke when i said that i made this after several months, days, and hours that passed. I didn't do it on purpose though. Coincidence? Fate? hahahaha I'll leave it up to you :)

Signing of,

allyna-chan :)


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